This is to be sung to the tune of Big Fat Road Manager, by The Arrogant Worms:
Giant rocket to the sky
Not many people really know why
It’s gotta stay cool as the stars parade
It’s got a gold coat and some doped ass-shades
It’s the James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope!
It beat a hurricane and lots of delays
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Refused to fail in three hundred ways
(James Webb Space Telescope)
It had a long time and a lot to do
(James Webb Space Telescope)
On its way to Lagrange point two
It’s the James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
It found a new moon and some old black holes
(James Webb Space Telescope)
A planet circling a mate of Sol’s
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Its pictures show 8-pointed stars
(James Webb Space Telescope)
That’s how you can tell they are
From the James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
You may wonder why the space telescope’s so far
That way it can block the heat from our Earth and Moon and Star
It sees through clouds in infrared
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Back through time as the wavelengths spread
(James Webb Space Telescope)
So far back that now it sees
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Light from earliest galaxies
As our James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
It’s still our James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
∎
Recently I remembered that I’d started writing this parody back when the James Webb Space Telescope launched. So I filled in some of the gaps, and then watched this excellent documentary about the telescope to fill in some more:
I found out about that documentary from NASA’s Curious Universe podcast, which I found out about from NASA’s Houston We Have a Podcast podcast. I recommend both, but especially the latter.
I considered saying it had ‘huge-ass shades’ as a reference to the ‘big fat ass’ in the original lyrics, but then I discovered that the sunshades were coated with doped silicon, and I couldn’t resist making a reference to the phrase ‘dope-ass’ while also doing the xkcd 37 thing. They are ‘ass shades’ in a sense, because they’re behind the telescope, i.e. on the side it’s not looking towards.
I’ve put links in the lyrics to some of the things where I could find a specific-enough link. The hurricane referred to is Hurricane Harvey, which hit Texas while the JWST was undergoing testing in a cryogenic vacuum chamber. As you’ll see in the documentary, it was a nail-biting time! The next line refers to the 344 potential single-point failures during launch and deployment which there wouldn’t have been a way to recover from. Really there were a lot of nail-biting times. But it all went well!
I linked to NASA’s explanation of Webb’s diffraction spikes, but I think this diagram from wikipedia also shows it very well.
Joey and I will probably sing this parody, but it will take more mixing and video editing than our usual songs. On the other hand, I can hear Joey singing it in the other room as I type this, so it might be ready fairly soon.
In other news, I’ve released version 1.3 of my text-to-speech-focussed reddit client for macOS and iOS, Seddit. Here’s what I changed:
- Added ‘Go to currently speaking item’ button in the toolbar, so you can quickly find the post or comment that’s currently being spoken, e.g. to open links or open the post in a browser to respond
- Enabled the ‘Settings…’ menu item and standard Settings window style on macOS
- Added headings and other changes for improved navigation of posts and comments using VoiceOver or Switch Control.
This completes all the major features I have planned the app — I have other ideas for improvement, but I don’t think they’re essential. I’m hoping that the next update will be simply to remove the text saying I’m looking for a job. 🤞🏻
Creative Output 
