Angela Brett
Mathematician and linguist by training, programmer by trade, physicist by association, writer by neglecting everything else.
Homepage: http://angelastic.com
Arithmancy Pants for macOS and iOS: Because everything’s a magic number if you’re brave enough
Posted in My Software on October 31, 2025
TL;DR: I made an app to derive a lot of ‘lucky’ numbers from any text. You can get it on the App Store now, for iOS and macOS.
Many years ago I came across Uri Geller’s page about how he notices the number 11 a lot and it’s somehow a magic number. I didn’t read all of it, because it’s nonsense, but I was intrigued by the list of ‘Names, events and places that add up to 11 letters.’ It contains:
- Many words, names, and phrases that happen to have 11 letters
- The words ‘hell heaven’ that sound a bit like 11
- Events that happened on the 11th of some month, or in November, or at 11:11
- The fact that Queen Elizabeth II is often written EIIR, which looks like E11R (of course, if you know Roman numerals, it clearly means E2R, but when I was a little kid I thought the Commodore 64 game Saboteur II was Saboteur 11, so I shouldn’t judge)
- Numbers whose digits add up to 11, if you keep adding the digits of the result until you get to 11
- Dates whose digits add up to 22, if you keep adding the digits of the result until you get to 22
- Phrases that have two consecutive As in them (because A is the first letter of the alphabet)
- Numbers that have two or more consecutive 1s in them
- Numbers that have two or more non-consecutive 1s in them, separated by zeroes
- Numbers that have 2 in them
It was clear to me that if you look hard enough, you can find 11s anywhere. Not only that, but you could find whatever other smallish (under 1000 or so) numbers you’re looking for. So I wrote code to look for a lot of these things automatically, and put it in an iOS and macOS app called Arithmancy Pants. It’s called that because ‘Numerologist’ was taken, arithmancy is an older word for numerology, and I’m a two-time Fancy Pants Parade winner.
I broke down everything into independent steps, so that we can find as many numbers as possible without doing the same thing twice — for instance, instead of converting AA to 11, we first convert it to 1, 1, and then concatenate them in a separate step to make 11.
Here are the things Arithmancy Pants can do in its quest to find numbers:
- Convert text into numbers
- by converting letters to their positions in the alphabet — Uri only uses this one for converting A to 1, but I’ve seen it quite often elsewhere
- by taking the number of letters in each word — this covers all the 11-letter words, and when combined with ‘adding up all the numbers’, covers other names and phrases with 11 total letters.
- by finding numbers that are already in the text, and letters that look like numbers — this covers the EIIR example.
- Convert numbers into other numbers
- By adding up the digits until they sum to a single digit (also known as digital root, this is equivalent to finding the remainder when dividing the number by 9, except using 9 instead of 0 unless we started at 0.)
- By converting each number into Roman Numerals — I think I only added this because I’d already written code to do that for something else. However, this covers the ‘numbers that have 2 in them’ case, as we can convert 2 to 11 by converting it first to II, and then to 11 by converting letters that look like numbers. This is a much more manageable way of turning 2 to 11 than adding a generic ‘convert each number into every possible combination of numbers that add to that number’ step.
- By adding up numbers
- Adding up all the numbers — this covers most of the adding-up cases on Uri’s page
- Adding up numbers in groups of up to 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 numbers. By using prime-sized groups, in multiple steps we can add the numbers in groups of any size — e.g., we can add up groups of 6 numbers by first adding groups of 3 numbers, then adding those results in groups of 2.
- By concatenating numbers — combined with converting letters to their positions in the alphabet, this covers converting AA to 11
- Concatenating all the numbers
- Concatenating numbers in groups of up to 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 numbers.
I stop at combining groups of 11, because while I could handle even larger numbers internally by using a different data type:
- I’ve got to stop somewhere, and not many people’s supposed lucky numbers have enough digits for concatenations or sums of multiples of 13 numbers to matter.
- I show charts of the numbers found, and there seems to be a bug (FB20491693, if you’re at Apple) in Swift Charts when I include more than one result that would convert to the same
Doublevalue. So I’m limited to final numbers under 253. - 13 is an supposedly an unlucky number anyway.
The app shows the final numbers you get when you complete enough of these steps to get down to a single number. On another tab it shows the intermediate numbers found alongside other numbers partway through the process. You can also explore the results yourself by expanding each intermediate result to see what was derived from it in the next step.
Note, there were many years between when I saw that page and when I actually wrote the app. So I don’t cover:
- Words that sound like numbers. I could have easily done something like this, at least on macOS, as I have a lot of experience with the text-to-speech APIs, but I simply forgot that was one of the tactics. Actually, I would probably just have a list of known words (too, to, for, non-rhotic Severn, etc.) that sound like numbers, or perhaps I would derive such a list by searching through a lot of text using the text-to-speech API. Uri’s suggestion of ‘hellheaven’ would not have come up though, since it doesn’t actually sound like eleven.
- Numbers that have consecutive or non-consecutive ones in them… although, this depends on how we got the numbers. If we obtained 10001 by concatenating 10, 0, 0, and 1, we would also have added those numbers to get 11.
- Stopping halfway when calculating the digital root — e.g., adding up the digits of 254 to get 11, but not continuing to add up the digits in 11 to get 2. I just take the remainder when dividing by nine to do the whole thing in a single step, so this won’t even be shown in the intermediate values.
I think that’s all I have to say about that… as I mentioned in my last post, this could also be a MathsJam talk some day. You can download the app for free on any device running macOS 26 or iOS 26. You could use it to debunk the claims of numerologists, or to make your own claims for fun — but please don’t use it to take advantage of gullible people.
Holiday Inn Express Geometry
Posted in News on October 26, 2025
On our road trip across the USA, Joey Marianer and I stayed at many Holiday Inn Express hotels. I noticed that (at least for the Eastern side of the country) they had a lot of geometrical decor. In particular, some intriguing wallpaper, which I will analyse in the second hald of the post.
But first, some other geometrical art. For instance, this art made of triangles, shown here with a copy of the book I read on the trip, Matt Parker’s ‘Love Triangle‘:
This art featuring hexagons, and occasional quadrilateral half-hexagons:
And this art with triangles inside hexagons!
This door decorated in triangles, diamonds, and parallelograms:
This more abstract collection of overlapping quadrilaterals making the occasional triangle:
Then there are perhaps less-artistic tesselations which I might not have noticed if not for the other decor. For instance, this couch featuring two different kinds of triangle:
This floor which seems to have at least two different lengths of floorboard:
This bedspread tesselation of diamonds and parallelograms:
Now, onto the wallpaper. This was present in many different Holliday Inn Express hotels. Here’s the photo I took:
Here it is after I unskewed, cropped, and lightened it in GraphicConverter:
This raises a lot of questions:
- What is the repeating unit here?
- Which wallpaper group is it?
- What’s with all those lines that don’t meet the other side? Would the pattern make any more sense if I completed them?
- Is there some kind of pattern to the way the rectangles, the rectangles divided into triangles, and the rectangles with unfinished lines in them are arranged?
Okay, to answer the first question, here I’ve cropped it to show enough of the repeating units to recreate the whole thing, and converted it to black and white so we’re not distracted by the lighting:
At this point I switched from GraphicConverter to OmniGraffle. Here I’ve drawn in the repeating tiles:
There are two kinds of tile, which I’ve outlined in solid purple and dashed orange. Vertically, the two kinds of tile alternate. Each column of tiles is offset vertically by half a tile from the ones next to it, so if you follow across the wallpaper, you’ll be alternating between top and bottom halves of tiles, and they might all be the same kind of tile, or they might be alternating kinds of tile, depending on where you start.
It took me a while to realise (actually, I think Joey pointed it out), but the orange tile is in fact the same as the purple tile, just flipped horizontally. That means we have what’s called a glide symmetry, or glide reflection — it’s like a reflection, but the reflection is moved along. The classic example of a glide symmetry is a trail of footprints — the two feet are mirror images of each other, but since they were walking when they made the footprints, they are never exactly next to each other.
So that means we can answer the question about wallpaper groups. It’s a rectangular lattice with only glide symmetries, no rotations or reflections. That’s called pg, and you can see other examples of it on wikipedia.
Here’s a single tile of it, from which we can construct the whole wallpaper:
It has 43 triangles (mostly in rectangles divided into two triangles, but there’s one divided into three triangles on the bottom left), 24 plain rectangles, and 5 rectangles that have a diagonal line going partway across them.
Okay, so onto question three. What’s with those lines that don’t quite reach the other side? Here, I completed them, and approximately measured the angles using the arc tool in OmniGraffle (I use OmniGraffle for a lot of things that aren’t graphs. For instance, this quark explainer, and the icon of my next app.)
There. Is that enlightening? No. Is that satisfying? Also, no. Two of the lines pretty much reach the other corner, if you squint, and three of them don’t. But perhaps knowing that you can give up on making any sense of this will give some relief.
Ah, but what about the arrangements of the three kinds of rectangle? Surely there’s something interesting about that. I haven’t found it, but maybe you could. Here’s a single tile, with a purple rectangle pattern for the plain rectangles, a pink zigzag pattern for rectangles divided into triangles, and a green pattern of short lines for rectangles with maddening partial lines in them. I’m not sure how useful the redundant coding is here, but it can’t hurt.
I’m not sure why I didn’t colour the three-triangle rectangle near the bottom left in a different colour from the two-triangle rectangles. I made these a while ago. [Next day edit: This bothered me too much to ignore. See below for a version with a different colour for that rectangle.]
I can imagine the letter P and a dog standing on its hind legs in pink, but I don’t think there’s any kind of hidden message here. Just to be sure, here’s the colourised version extended to show more of the wallpaper:
Well now perhaps there are a bunch of dogs walking past each other doing the can-can. Do you see any interesting geometry or other mathematics that I missed in any of these images?
Next-day edit: Here’s a version with the three-triangle rectangle in checkered orange. I accidentally used a different shade of pink, but the shade of pink had no mathematical value, so it’ll do:
And here’s a larger section of wallpaper using that version:
When I took these photos, I thought they might make a good talk at the MathsJam Annual Gathering. We ended up deciding not to go this year (though we’ll probably join virtually) so I won’t be giving that talk. I have also made a new app which could be the focus of a MathsJam talk. I have submitted it to the App Store, so I hope it will be out very soon.
On the subject of apps, I got a job offer, though I haven’t started work yet. That means I’ve released a new version of Seddit, my text-to-speech-focused Reddit reader, where the only update is that it no longer says I’m looking for work on the ‘Support Seddit’ tab of the settings.
Seddit 1.5 supports multilingual Reddit listening. Also, Joey sang my half-baked PSOLA song!
Posted in My Software on October 9, 2025
A while ago I added the possibility to configure Seddit (my text-to-speech-focused hands-free Reddit client for macOS and iOS) with multiple voices so that each user’s content could be read in a different voice. Of course, iOS and macOS come with voices that speak a huge variety of different languages, so you could theoretically select, say, a Japanese voice, a French voice, and three English voices, and download Reddit posts and comments in all of those languages. However, until now, Seddit would randomly assign a voice to each user, without regard for the language that user had written in, so if you did that, you could end up with English posts pronounced as if they were French, Japanese character names read out in English, and so on.
In the latest version, if you select voices that speak multiple languages in the Voices tab of the Settings screen, when Seddit encounters a post or comment by a user it hasn’t chosen a voice for yet, it will detect which of those languages the post or comment is probably in, and choose a voice that knows how to pronounce that language.
Of course, this isn’t perfect — it still always uses the same voice for each user, so if a user sometimes posts in French, and sometimes in English, or if they write in multiple languages within a single post because it’s a language-learning subreddit, then some of that is going to be spoken using an inappropriate voice. Also, if someone only writes in English but the first comment that Seddit encounters of theirs is an image meme and the text ‘c’est la vie!’ Seddit might determine that the user speaks French, and then hilariously mispronounce the rest of their posts. Note, if there is not enough text in the user’s first post for Seddit to even guess the language, it will not definitively choose a voice for that user until it encounters another post by them. I have yet to find either of these situations in practice, even while looking for them, so I hope it’s a rare issue.
Nonetheless, all of these situations are better than Seddit just randomly picking a voice for each user, regardless of which language they happen to be writing in. You should try it out, especially if you want to listen to Reddit content in various languages!
I also redesigned the Settings screen on iOS and iPadOS so it’s fullscreen and has a close button in the top right, as per Apple’s human interface guidelines, instead of a ‘Done’ button taking up a lot of space at the bottom and making the tabs look weird.
Note, while writing this post, I tested the regular ‘Start Speaking’ menu command on macOS and the ‘Speak’ command on iOS and found that it will sometimes switch to appropriate voices if I select multilingual text, even if my System Speech Language est réglé sur えい語。 Okay, it doesn’t work well for the French/English parts of that sentence. Maybe it’s only good with switching between languages if I switch scripts, e.g. בַּרְוָזָן утконос カモノハシ. Yep, that works, although if I select any other text along with πλατύπους, it’ll read it as ‘Greek small letter pi’ etc. I guess Greek letters are used too often in English for the speech engine to assume we actually switched to Greek. There were certainly plenty of Greek letters in the Princeton Companion to Mathematics.
Anyhow, I’m thinking I could improve Seddit further by giving each user a voice in each language you’ve selected voices for, and detecting the language for each post/comment, or for each sentence. Though macOS doesn’t do that unless you switch scripts… when I tried adding ‘J’imagine qu’il choisit une nouvelle langue pour chaque phrase.’ as a separate sentence and selected it along with a few English sentences, it read the whole thing in a French voice.
On the subject of interesting text-to-speech behaviour, and interesting behaviour in general, remember my half-written Lola parody about Pitch Synchronous Overlap and Add? Well, the lovely Joey Marianer had an appointment in town a while ago, and sneakily recorded the song in a parking building as a surprise, because I’m usually home so there’s little chance to record things at home without my hearing. I was duly surprised and delighted. Even the disclaimer about the missing bridge sounds like it scans as a bridge! Now you can also be surprised, delighted, and probably confused as to why this half-baked song was considered worth singing.
James Webb Space Telescope (now actually sung) and Seddit 1.4
Posted in My Software, video on September 26, 2025
In my last post I gave lyrics to a parody of an Arrogant Worms song about the James Webb Space Telescope, and an update to my text-to-speech focussed Reddit client Seddit. I also said two things that turned out to be false:
- Joey and I will probably sing this parody, but it will take more mixing and video editing than our usual songs.
- This completes all the major features I have planned the app — I have other ideas for improvement, but I don’t think they’re essential. I’m hoping that the next update will be simply to remove the text saying I’m looking for a job.
Well, the other night Joey asked if I wanted to sing the song, and I said, “Okay! I should change into a more space-related shirt first” and then Joey produced two James Webb Space Telescope T-shirts out of nowhere, having secretly ordered them previously. So we changed into the shirts, and then we sang it, directly into a camera together, with no warmup or practice, and Joey trimmed the ends and put the video on YouTube. I had thought we’d sing our separate parts, get them perfect, then mix them, and make a video with some relevant educational images. Instead, here’s an imperfect but pretty good recording already!
I know where I made a mistake, but I’m not going to hang a lampshade on it so you’ll notice.
As for Seddit, well, not only did I not get the job I was hoping for when I wrote that, I also decided to update the app to use the new Liquid Glass design language that came out with iOS and macOS 26. I found and fixed a few other issues along the way. Here are the changes in Seddit 1.4:
- Features
- Added support for liquid glass appearance in iOS/macOS 26
- Moved playback controls to a liquid glass overlay so you can see more content around the edges
- Bug fixes
- Made sure compliments purchased on the Support Seddit screen are always shown in the same order
- Made the Voices Settings screen on macOS show which voices are Enhanced or Premium (I also filed bug FB20362911 with Apple about this, because there’s some system behaviour that’s inconsistent between iOS and macOS)
- Fixed an issue introduced in Seddit 1.2 whereby posts whose comments are not all read would be shown as read instead of partly read
You can get the latest version for Mac, iPhone, or iPad on the relevant App Store.
On the subject of songs and liquid glass, check out this song by James Dempsey about liquid glass:
Thanks to Seattle Xcoders, I was lucky enough to have seen the live debut of this, and another performance of it, which I recorded but don’t have permission to share yet.
I haven’t actually had any legibility issues with liquid glass though — and if I did, I know I could always turn on Reduce Transparency.
James Webb Space Telescope (Arrogant Worms parody lyrics) and yet another Seddit update
Posted in My Software on September 15, 2025
This is to be sung to the tune of Big Fat Road Manager, by The Arrogant Worms:
Giant rocket to the sky
Not many people really know why
It’s gotta stay cool as the stars parade
It’s got a gold coat and some doped ass-shades
It’s the James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope!
It beat a hurricane and lots of delays
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Refused to fail in three hundred ways
(James Webb Space Telescope)
It had a long time and a lot to do
(James Webb Space Telescope)
On its way to Lagrange point two
It’s the James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
It found a new moon and some old black holes
(James Webb Space Telescope)
A planet circling a mate of Sol’s
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Its pictures show 8-pointed stars
(James Webb Space Telescope)
That’s how you can tell they are
From the James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
You may wonder why the space telescope’s so far
That way it can block the heat from our Earth and Moon and Star
It sees through clouds in infrared
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Back through time as the wavelengths spread
(James Webb Space Telescope)
So far back that now it sees
(James Webb Space Telescope)
Light from earliest galaxies
As our James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
It’s still our James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
James Webb Space Telescope
∎
Recently I remembered that I’d started writing this parody back when the James Webb Space Telescope launched. So I filled in some of the gaps, and then watched this excellent documentary about the telescope to fill in some more:
I found out about that documentary from NASA’s Curious Universe podcast, which I found out about from NASA’s Houston We Have a Podcast podcast. I recommend both, but especially the latter.
I considered saying it had ‘huge-ass shades’ as a reference to the ‘big fat ass’ in the original lyrics, but then I discovered that the sunshades were coated with doped silicon, and I couldn’t resist making a reference to the phrase ‘dope-ass’ while also doing the xkcd 37 thing. They are ‘ass shades’ in a sense, because they’re behind the telescope, i.e. on the side it’s not looking towards.
I’ve put links in the lyrics to some of the things where I could find a specific-enough link. The hurricane referred to is Hurricane Harvey, which hit Texas while the JWST was undergoing testing in a cryogenic vacuum chamber. As you’ll see in the documentary, it was a nail-biting time! The next line refers to the 344 potential single-point failures during launch and deployment which there wouldn’t have been a way to recover from. Really there were a lot of nail-biting times. But it all went well!
I linked to NASA’s explanation of Webb’s diffraction spikes, but I think this diagram from wikipedia also shows it very well.
Joey and I will probably sing this parody, but it will take more mixing and video editing than our usual songs. On the other hand, I can hear Joey singing it in the other room as I type this, so it might be ready fairly soon.
In other news, I’ve released version 1.3 of my text-to-speech-focussed reddit client for macOS and iOS, Seddit. Here’s what I changed:
- Added ‘Go to currently speaking item’ button in the toolbar, so you can quickly find the post or comment that’s currently being spoken, e.g. to open links or open the post in a browser to respond
- Enabled the ‘Settings…’ menu item and standard Settings window style on macOS
- Added headings and other changes for improved navigation of posts and comments using VoiceOver or Switch Control.
This completes all the major features I have planned the app — I have other ideas for improvement, but I don’t think they’re essential. I’m hoping that the next update will be simply to remove the text saying I’m looking for a job. 🤞🏻
So I leave my bags behind (Galilee Song parody, now actually sung!) and another new version of Seddit
Posted in My Software, video on September 2, 2025
Hey look, Joey Marianer sang the parody song lyrics from my last post! Check there for the lyrics and the aviation incidents referenced.
There are some more song parody lyrics, but first, a word from my sponsor: me. Just like last time, I’ve released a new version of Seddit, my text-to-speech-focussed Reddit client for macOS and iOS. This has a feature I’ve wanted to add for a while — the possibility to select multiple voices, and read each user’s posts and comments in a different one. The variety makes it easier to keep paying attention when listening for a long time, and having each user consistently use the same voice should make it easier to follow conversations.
I made some other changes in this version too. Here’s a full list of them:
Features
- Added the possibility to have each user’s posts and comments spoken in a different voice
- Added settings for whether to read out the subreddit name, and date and time for each post.
- Added the option to load no comments — this was for Joey, who wanted to try listening to short story subreddits while obeying the “don’t read the comments” rule of the internet.
Bug fixes
- Fixed a bug whereby turning off the ‘Say “Link” instead of reading out URLs’ setting would not work
- Fixed a bug where comments that weren’t loaded would be read as “comment by unknown user” Comments that aren’t loaded due to the comment depth settings are also no longer displayed.
- Fixed a potential crash when opening the app if posts had been deleted on another device
On the subject of text-to-speech, nine or ten years ago I read a book and a bunch of papers on speech synthesis in order to write a term paper for my Web Development for Linguistics degree. The term paper was longer than the text of my thesis, because my thesis also included source code for a web site and a Mac app. Anyway, from this book I learnt about PSOLA (Pitch Synchronous Overlap and Add) which is used to change the pitch and duration of sounds for text-to-speech, as one might do to change prosody, or create a robot choir.
Newer voices don’t use PSOLA so much, as (to put it simply) they have more samples of actual speech in different situations, so they don’t need to modify samples for the sake of prosody. Note, this is ‘newer voices’ as of a decade or two ago; I don’t know whether the latest crop of ML-based voices do things the same way. Anyway, I assume this is why the newer macOS voices don’t support the TUNE format I used for my robot choir.
At the time, I wrote an utterly silly partial parody of Lola, by The Kinks, about PSOLA. I thought maybe I’d finish it or maybe even make it less silly[why?], but I never did, and now I don’t remember enough about how PSOLA works to fully understand what I originally wrote. So here is that draft. It really doesn’t scan, but I hope it doesn’t scan in amusing ways:
I was trying to synthesise some prosody,
but my source and filter were mixed up just like granola
G-R-A-N-O-L-A, granola.
So I found a new way to make it sound rad
It’s called pitch-synchronous overlap and add, that is PSOLA
P-S-O-L-A PSOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA.
Well I didn’t want to sound like a smallpox blight
So I really took care with my to get my epochs right
for PSOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA.
If you’re not dumb then you’ll soon understand
How I speak like a woman then sound like a man
It’s P-SOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA.
[It doesn’t look like I wrote anything for the bridge (is that a bridge?) of the song, so just pretend it keeps going roughly like before]
It was used to make synthesized speech sound natural
But now there’s some super-sized features that fill that role-uh
R-O-L-E hyphen U-H role-uh
So that’s my guess if you’re wondering why r-
ecent voices don’t sing in my robot choir:
No PSOLA.
So I leave my bags behind (Galilee Song parody lyrics) and a new version of Seddit
Posted in My Software on August 19, 2025
Whoever else you believe is in the sky looking after you, you can be sure that the crew of any airliner you fly in are there to keep you safe. So here’s a parody of the hymn ‘The Galilee Song’ about surviving an emergency water landing. It’s based on the stories of Pan Am Flight 526A, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961, and US Airways Flight 1549:
Both the right wing engines glitched, when a plane had barely climbed,
So the pilots deftly ditched; soon a rescue crew arrived.
Panicked flyers feared the sharks in the sea where they came down,
So instead of boarding rafts, some stayed in the plane to drown.
So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Set my raft upon the deep
Pull my life vest inflate cord
Once some halfwits stormed a flight, made impossible demands,
So the captain who was bright, steered them stealthily toward land.
They came down just off a coast; those with life vests could be saved.
Some inflated theirs too soon, trapped inside that sinking plane.
So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Only after I am free
Pull my life vest inflate cord
One plane struck a flock of birds; there was nought to do but glide.
Skiles and Sully, undeterred, ditched the plane and no-one died.
Though ’twas not an ocean flight, there were crucial vests and slides.
A stroke of luck that now we cite in the transport safety guides.
So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Set my raft upon the deep
Pull my life vest inflate cord
So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Only after I am free
Pull my life vest inflate cord
∎
After I posted the chorus of this along with my last aviation-themed parody, Joey made noises about potentially singing it if I wrote the rest, so that’s what I did. The chorus is very catchy, so I hope it reminds people what to do if they need it.
The original song has a strong enough tune that you barely notice that it has basically no rhymes, only a little assonance in the chorus. I couldn’t help putting in a bunch of rhymes though. Where’s the challenge, otherwise? The chorus still pretty much rhymes with the lines of the original chorus rather than with itself, though, which doesn’t make sense for anyone who doesn’t know the original, but is so very tempting for those who do, because the chorus is catchy enough to inspire faith… to the non-rhyme scheme.
So I add a bunch of rhymes
Fix the song’s familiar flaws
To absolve it of its [bleep]
Wait, that word was not untoward!
As I mentioned in my last post, I’m including a song parody each time I post about a minor update in an app I release. Well, I’ve released a new version of Seddit, my text-to-speech-focussed Reddit client for iOS and macOS. The new version has three new features, so it’s not such a minor update, really. Here’s what’s new:
Features
- Settings for sounds to play between posts and comments — now you have two options for the sounds to play when going up or down levels when reading comments. You can also choose to turn off the sounds played between posts or when going up or down comment levels.
- ‘Random from previous’ option when autoloading more posts, so it will automatically load posts from any of the subreddits you have previously loaded posts from, instead of just a specific one
- Option to say ‘Link’ instead of reading out URLs in posts and comments
Bug fixes
- Fix to a potential hang when autoloading posts
You can get the latest version of Seddit from the app store!
Rotation Speed (Sam Bettens parody lyrics) and a new version of Lifetiler
Posted in My Software, News on August 14, 2025
This is a parody of Coasting Speed by Sam Bettens, because ever since I learnt the phrase ‘rotation speed’ from Mentour Pilot, I’ve had it in my head to the tune of Coasting Speed every time I’ve taken off (as a passenger) in an aeroplane. I’ve added a little to this parody with each flight. This is from the perspective of the flight crew and cabin crew, talking to the passengers.
The takeoff’s cleared
We’ve finally reached
rotation speed
We known we’re each
prepared for takeoff
and we start to fly
You board your flight
You stow your bags
Tray tables up
Do your belts up tight
We know you’re ready
As we get you high
But it’s not a rush
We take our time
your life
is in our hands
Ohhh
When the engine’s drowning out all other sound
When the landing just won’t stick, and we go around
We won’t let you, we won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down
At altitude
We are pressurised
We’ve got attitude
And you inside
So you’re breathing easy
When you’ve got to fly
But the flight goes on
And on and on
It might seem much too long
Ohhhh
When the engine’s drowning out all other sound
When the landing just won’t stick, and we go around
We won’t let you, we won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down
Sometimes life is scary when you’re all up in the air
But we’ll be there
We won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.
We won’t let you down.
The engine blocks all other sound,
The landing sticks, we won’t go around
We won’t let you, we won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.
We won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.
We won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.
∎
I think parts of this could still be improved, but I’ve decided that each time I release a minor update to an app, I should post about it, and include an old song parody or poem that’s been gathering dust each time — that way, two things that might not have been enough to post about on their own will both get posted.
This one is probably good enough to post by itself, especially as I’ve also written another partial parody about aviation, which I will put later in this post. But first, an ‘ad break’ for the new version of Lifetiler! After releasing Seddit a week ago, I set to work fixing some issues I had noticed in Lifetiler, the app I wrote to chart my once-long-distance relationship with Joey Marianer. I have now released version 1.2, with the following fixes:
- Features
- Pinch-to-zoom is now supported in the Tiles view, both on iOS and macOS. Previously you could only change the tile size using a slider at the bottom of the screen, and I don’t know why I didn’t think of pinch-to-zoom before. The slider is still there, but now you can also use pinch-to-zoom, or the zoom rotor setting in VoiceOver.
- On macOS, you can now change the width of the ‘Export as Image’ and ‘Document Settings’ panels
- Fixes for large font sizes on iOS and iPadOS
- I’ve fixed several screens where text was cut off or just poorly laid-out at larger font sizes.
- I’ve made sure tiles scale according to the font size setting, in the ‘List’ screen/pane, as the default size for the main ‘Tiles’ screen, and for the list of existing symbols when adding a date range, and settings for how to show tiles not in date ranges, or in simplified mode (where all tiles within date ranges are shown as the same symbol.)
- Fixes for VoiceOver (and probably other assistive technologies)
- I’ve made the VoiceOver interface correctly reflect what is seen in simplified mode, and for empty tiles
- I’ve fixed a bug whereby the tiles in the existing symbols list, and settings for how to show tiles not in date ranges, or in simplified mode, were not accessible to VoiceOver if they were currently set to coloured squares rather than emoji.
You can get the new version on the App Stores for macOS 15 Sequoia or later and iOS/iPadOS 17 or later.
Okay, now for the other aviation-related song parody I promised. This is a parody of the chorus of the Galilee Song, a hymn we used to sing at my Catholic high school. The original lyrics go:
So I leave my boats behind!
Leave them on familiar shores!
Set my heart upon the deep!
Follow you again, my Lord!
But when you’re evacuating an aeroplane in water, remember God helps those who help themselves… so here’s what you should be thinking:
So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Set my raft upon the deep
Pull my life vest inflate cord
That’s all from me for now! I’m off to apply for more jobs and work on more features in Seddit.
Seddit: A text-to-speech Reddit reader for iOS and macOS
Posted in My Software on August 6, 2025
A while ago my friend Brynn told me she’d love an app which would continuously read posts and comments from Reddit using text-to-speech, with minimal user interaction. This seemed like a fun project, so just after I released the macOS version of Lifetiler, I started working on it. It was indeed a fun project! And now it’s also on the App Store as a fun and useful app that you can use. It’s completely free, though if you would like to thank me for the effort, on the Settings screen there’s an in-app purchase tip jar which will give you a compliment (courtesy of NiceWriter) for each tip.
To use Seddit, you start by pressing the + button to load either a specific post from a URL, or a number of the best, hot, new, etc. posts from a subreddit. You can load more posts from other subreddits whenever you like. Then you press the Play button, and Seddit will read through the posts and comments you’ve loaded. You can configure which voice, rate, and pitch to use in the Settings, or set it up to use your VoiceOver voice settings whenever VoiceOver is running.
Seddit supports the main things that most audio apps do. You can AirPlay to another device. You can skip any posts or comment threads you’re not interested in using the buttons in the app, on your Mac keyboard or iOS lock screen, or on your headphones, for instance.
If you really want to sit back and listen without fiddling with anything, you can set up Seddit to automatically load more posts whenever it is running out of content to speak. And if you’re sitting so far back that you want to go to sleep while listening and not fiddle with the app to turn it off, you can use the Sleep Timer to have Seddit automatically stop speaking after a certain amount of time.
The posts you have loaded will be synched between devices that are signed into the same iCloud account, so you can start listening on one device and continue on a different one. Note that if you switch devices in the middle of a post or comment, the post or comment will be started from the beginning.
Since Seddit is more intended for passive consumption of discussions, it does not support commenting, or viewing images within the app. However, if you navigate to a post in the app, you can follow links to view the post, external link, or images on the web. You can also set up Seddit to skip reading posts that have only a link or image in the post body.
I always pay attention to accessibility when writing apps, but Seddit in particular was developed with the blind and low-vision community in mind. Brynn is blind herself, and let me know while testing the app if there were ways I could improve accessibility. Please let me know if you find any issues.
Feel free to download Seddit and try it out!
I’m also continuing to look for a day job, so I can afford to keep Seddit free to use. Let me know if you spot one I’d be great at!
Sailing off into the sunset toward America
Posted in Moving to the USA, video on July 27, 2025
As mentioned previously, I have an idea for a music video I’d like to make about my move to the US. But before I make that, I wanted to publish some of the video I took on the trip, in a fairly raw and unedited way, just to get it out there. I already published hours of 4K video from the ship leaving Hamburg, leaving Southampton, and arriving in New York City, recorded with my Sony ZV1 camera on a tripod.
Well, it was time to put together whatever random video I took with my iPhone. And I was just going to stick it all in a video with fades between clips, but there really wasn’t much going on in terms of sound — it needed music. And of course if there was going to be music, I’d better edit the footage a bit more to fit in with the music. So I ended up making something of an impromptu music video. Probably the coolest part (other than the music) is the sunset I recorded from the front of the ship one evening.
The song is ‘America’ by K’s Choice, as covered by my friend Joseph Camann when I requested it on his Patreon. Joseph is a multifaceted and multitalented individual who is also known as Chromatic Verse (mostly for visual art) CamannWordsmith (mostly for writing) and Joseph and the Bear Hat (for song covers.) It is unclear which parts the bear hat played in this cover.
I initially thought that the song ‘America’ would work better for the road trip across America than the trip across the pond, so I spent some time trying to find something else for this one… but come on, ‘America’ has a line about the sun rising and falling, and most of the video is a sunset. How could I not? Also there’s the double bonus of publicising both my friend Joseph and also one of my favourite bands, K’s Choice.
A day or so after we got to NYC, we visited MoMath, and I recently realised that while I’d put up video of Joey Marianer riding a square-wheeled tricycle there, I had forgotten to edit the other video I took of Joey at MoMath. Here’s Joey changing some benches from a triangle shape to a square and back, set to one of the free jingles that comes with Final Cut Pro:
That’s it for now. Stay tuned for a video of whatever I recorded on my phone during our ensuing road trip across the US, which I will inevitably spend more than the expected amount of effort on!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.
Please tell me if you do something cool with it.
Creative Output 
