I watched a speech by by Haben Girma yesterday, and as she was talking about making things accessible to people with disabilities and how that can lead to usefulness and innovations beyond accessibility, I decided to write a quick parody of James Blunt’s ‘Beautiful’ about accessibility. Here are the lyrics. They don’t always match the original tune exactly, but rather an approximation of it I have in my head from listening to parodies such as The Amateur Transplants’ Beautiful Song, Weird Al’s You’re Pitiful, and James Blunt’s own My Triangle. Feel free to come up with your own additions to include other aspects of accessibility or other things which could be more accessible.
My widget’s brilliant
My venue’s brilliant
Of that I’m sure
For all the people
I don’t ignore
I met someone who was different
And I knew I’d undershot
‘Cause I thought my plans were brilliant
and they were not
Accessible
Accessible
Accessible to all
To learn or say, in a different way
When one sense is essential
It makes sense to overhaul
So I fixed my stuff
It was not enough
I met more folk who tried and they still
found it tough
And I don’t think I can accommodate
But I have a goal now and I will innovate
Accessible
Accessible
Accessible to all
To simply manoeuvre, no matter how we move
Paralysed or pained or small
Still our movement shall not fall
la la la la…
Accessible
Accessible
Accessible to all
And the gains are shared with the unimpaired
Till there’s nothing that seems impossible
If you see, hear, feel the call
Make some tools; tear down a wall.
∎
Of course, I can’t publish lyrics to a song about accessibility without mentioning The Accessibility Song by James Dempsey. If you didn’t like mine, try his, now also available along with his other songs about Cocoa development on iTunes:
I’ve actually seen the original song ‘Beautiful’ performed live, since I randomly went to a James Blunt concert with some co-workers the very first time I was in Vienna. However, even then, I did not really listen to the words. I did while writing this, and realised just how weird and creepy it is. The protagonist is not telling his partner she’s beautiful, as a casual listener might assume, but rather singing to a woman he caught a glimpse of once on a train as if she were some great lost love, despite the fact that they never spoke to each other and she was already involved with someone. It’s essentially Jackson Park Express, presented as a romantic short film rather than a feature-length comedy. With songs like this out there, no wonder random guys on the street sometimes think they can follow me home!
Unrelated to all this, Joey Marianer has once again sung some words I wrote! This time it’s A Few Things You’ll Need for the Cruise, slightly changed to be about the fact that there was, at the time of publishing, exactly one month until JoCo Cruise 2018. There is now less than a month, but still room for you to join us!
#1 by joeym on January 25, 2018 - 6:43 am
Sorry I took so long. I’ve been a bit busy this week.
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#2 by Angela Brett on January 25, 2018 - 2:47 pm
AAAAH can I just follow you around saying words that rhyme so that you can follow me around singing them, and we will become some kind of epicyclic perpetual motion music machine, following each other in tight circles as we wander around?
Some to start with, from http://rhyme.science/?random
‘lodes’ rhymes with ‘encodes’
‘hand and’ rhymes with ‘abandoned’
‘preshrunk’ rhymes with ‘Monck’ (that’s “George Monck, who was in command of the…” sorry I don’t have the rest of that context quote)
‘calculations’ rhymes with ‘habitations’
‘Mueller’s’ rhymes with ‘ruler’s’ and in non-rhotic accents ‘EULAs’
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