Archive for August, 2025

So I leave my bags behind (Galilee Song parody lyrics) and a new version of Seddit


Whoever else you believe is in the sky looking after you, you can be sure that the crew of any airliner you fly in are there to keep you safe. So here’s a parody of the hymn ‘The Galilee Song’ about surviving an emergency water landing. It’s based on the stories of Pan Am Flight 526A, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961, and US Airways Flight 1549:

Both the right wing engines glitched, when a plane had barely climbed,
So the pilots deftly ditched; soon a rescue crew arrived.
Panicked flyers feared the sharks in the sea where they came down,
So instead of boarding rafts, some stayed in the plane to drown.

So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Set my raft upon the deep
Pull my life vest inflate cord

Once some halfwits stormed a flight, made impossible demands,
So the captain who was bright, steered them stealthily toward land.
They came down just off a coast; those with life vests could be saved.
Some inflated theirs too soon, trapped inside that sinking plane.

So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Only after I am free
Pull my life vest inflate cord

One plane struck a flock of birds; there was nought to do but glide.
Skiles and Sully, undeterred, ditched the plane and no-one died.
Though ’twas not an ocean flight, there were crucial vests and slides.
A stroke of luck that now we cite in the transport safety guides.

So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Set my raft upon the deep
Pull my life vest inflate cord

So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Only after I am free
Pull my life vest inflate cord

After I posted the chorus of this along with my last aviation-themed parody, Joey made noises about potentially singing it if I wrote the rest, so that’s what I did. The chorus is very catchy, so I hope it reminds people what to do if they need it.

The original song has a strong enough tune that you barely notice that it has basically no rhymes, only a little assonance in the chorus. I couldn’t help putting in a bunch of rhymes though. Where’s the challenge, otherwise? The chorus still pretty much rhymes with the lines of the original chorus rather than with itself, though, which doesn’t make sense for anyone who doesn’t know the original, but is so very tempting for those who do, because the chorus is catchy enough to inspire faith… to the non-rhyme scheme.

So I add a bunch of rhymes
Fix the song’s familiar flaws
To absolve it of its [bleep]
Wait, that word was not untoward!

Sounds Settings screen on iOS showing 'Sci-fi up' selected for comment reply level increase, 'Sci-fi down' for 'Comment reply level decrease' and 'Woosh' selected for Next Post.
The new ‘Sounds’ Settings screen

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m including a song parody each time I post about a minor update in an app I release. Well, I’ve released a new version of Seddit, my text-to-speech-focussed Reddit client for iOS and macOS. The new version has three new features, so it’s not such a minor update, really. Here’s what’s new:

Features

  • Settings for sounds to play between posts and comments — now you have two options for the sounds to play when going up or down levels when reading comments. You can also choose to turn off the sounds played between posts or when going up or down comment levels.
  • ‘Random from previous’ option when autoloading more posts, so it will automatically load posts from any of the subreddits you have previously loaded posts from, instead of just a specific one
  • Option to say ‘Link’ instead of reading out URLs in posts and comments

Bug fixes

  • Fix to a potential hang when autoloading posts

You can get the latest version of Seddit from the app store!

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Rotation Speed (Sam Bettens parody lyrics) and a new version of Lifetiler


This is a parody of Coasting Speed by Sam Bettens, because ever since I learnt the phrase ‘rotation speed’ from Mentour Pilot, I’ve had it in my head to the tune of Coasting Speed every time I’ve taken off (as a passenger) in an aeroplane. I’ve added a little to this parody with each flight. This is from the perspective of the flight crew and cabin crew, talking to the passengers.

The takeoff’s cleared
We’ve finally reached
rotation speed
We known we’re each
prepared for takeoff
and we start to fly

You board your flight
You stow your bags
Tray tables up
Do your belts up tight
We know you’re ready
As we get you high

But it’s not a rush
We take our time
your life
is in our hands
Ohhh

When the engine’s drowning out all other sound
When the landing just won’t stick, and we go around
We won’t let you, we won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down

At altitude
We are pressurised
We’ve got attitude
And you inside
So you’re breathing easy
When you’ve got to fly
But the flight goes on
And on and on
It might seem much too long
Ohhhh

When the engine’s drowning out all other sound
When the landing just won’t stick, and we go around
We won’t let you, we won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down

Sometimes life is scary when you’re all up in the air
But we’ll be there
We won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.
We won’t let you down.

The engine blocks all other sound,
The landing sticks, we won’t go around
We won’t let you, we won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.
We won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.

We won’t let you down
but we’ll get you down.

I think parts of this could still be improved, but I’ve decided that each time I release a minor update to an app, I should post about it, and include an old song parody or poem that’s been gathering dust each time — that way, two things that might not have been enough to post about on their own will both get posted.

This one is probably good enough to post by itself, especially as I’ve also written another partial parody about aviation, which I will put later in this post. But first, an ‘ad break’ for the new version of Lifetiler! After releasing Seddit a week ago, I set to work fixing some issues I had noticed in Lifetiler, the app I wrote to chart my once-long-distance relationship with Joey Marianer. I have now released version 1.2, with the following fixes:

  • Features
    • Pinch-to-zoom is now supported in the Tiles view, both on iOS and macOS. Previously you could only change the tile size using a slider at the bottom of the screen, and I don’t know why I didn’t think of pinch-to-zoom before. The slider is still there, but now you can also use pinch-to-zoom, or the zoom rotor setting in VoiceOver.
    • On macOS, you can now change the width of the ‘Export as Image’ and ‘Document Settings’ panels
  • Fixes for large font sizes on iOS and iPadOS
    • I’ve fixed several screens where text was cut off or just poorly laid-out at larger font sizes.
    • I’ve made sure tiles scale according to the font size setting, in the ‘List’ screen/pane, as the default size for the main ‘Tiles’ screen, and for the list of existing symbols when adding a date range, and settings for how to show tiles not in date ranges, or in simplified mode (where all tiles within date ranges are shown as the same symbol.)
  • Fixes for VoiceOver (and probably other assistive technologies)
    • I’ve made the VoiceOver interface correctly reflect what is seen in simplified mode, and for empty tiles
    • I’ve fixed a bug whereby the tiles in the existing symbols list, and settings for how to show tiles not in date ranges, or in simplified mode, were not accessible to VoiceOver if they were currently set to coloured squares rather than emoji.

You can get the new version on the App Stores for macOS 15 Sequoia or later and iOS/iPadOS 17 or later.

Okay, now for the other aviation-related song parody I promised. This is a parody of the chorus of the Galilee Song, a hymn we used to sing at my Catholic high school. The original lyrics go:

So I leave my boats behind!
Leave them on familiar shores!
Set my heart upon the deep!
Follow you again, my Lord!

But when you’re evacuating an aeroplane in water, remember God helps those who help themselves… so here’s what you should be thinking:

So I leave my bags behind
Leave through unfamiliar doors
Set my raft upon the deep
Pull my life vest inflate cord

That’s all from me for now! I’m off to apply for more jobs and work on more features in Seddit.

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Seddit: A text-to-speech Reddit reader for iOS and macOS


A while ago my friend Brynn told me she’d love an app which would continuously read posts and comments from Reddit using text-to-speech, with minimal user interaction. This seemed like a fun project, so just after I released the macOS version of Lifetiler, I started working on it. It was indeed a fun project! And now it’s also on the App Store as a fun and useful app that you can use. It’s completely free, though if you would like to thank me for the effort, on the Settings screen there’s an in-app purchase tip jar which will give you a compliment (courtesy of NiceWriter) for each tip.

A screenshot of Seddit, showing a list of titles of joke posts, with icons next to them showing which have been skipped, played, or are currently playing. There are playback controls at the bottom of the screen.
Seddit on iPhone

To use Seddit, you start by pressing the + button to load either a specific post from a URL, or a number of the best, hot, new, etc. posts from a subreddit. You can load more posts from other subreddits whenever you like. Then you press the Play button, and Seddit will read through the posts and comments you’ve loaded. You can configure which voice, rate, and pitch to use in the Settings, or set it up to use your VoiceOver voice settings whenever VoiceOver is running.

Seddit supports the main things that most audio apps do. You can AirPlay to another device. You can skip any posts or comment threads you’re not interested in using the buttons in the app, on your Mac keyboard or iOS lock screen, or on your headphones, for instance.

If you really want to sit back and listen without fiddling with anything, you can set up Seddit to automatically load more posts whenever it is running out of content to speak. And if you’re sitting so far back that you want to go to sleep while listening and not fiddle with the app to turn it off, you can use the Sleep Timer to have Seddit automatically stop speaking after a certain amount of time.

The posts you have loaded will be synched between devices that are signed into the same iCloud account, so you can start listening on one device and continue on a different one. Note that if you switch devices in the middle of a post or comment, the post or comment will be started from the beginning.

Screenshot of Seddit on a Mac, showing a list of post titles down the left (with icons indicating play status), and the text and comments of a post on the right. The post shown is "What do you call a group of riled up chickens? Poultry in motion."
Seddit on Mac

Since Seddit is more intended for passive consumption of discussions, it does not support commenting, or viewing images within the app. However, if you navigate to a post in the app, you can follow links to view the post, external link, or images on the web. You can also set up Seddit to skip reading posts that have only a link or image in the post body.

I always pay attention to accessibility when writing apps, but Seddit in particular was developed with the blind and low-vision community in mind. Brynn is blind herself, and let me know while testing the app if there were ways I could improve accessibility. Please let me know if you find any issues.

Feel free to download Seddit and try it out!

I’m also continuing to look for a day job, so I can afford to keep Seddit free to use. Let me know if you spot one I’d be great at!

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