Archive for category video

James Webb Space Telescope (now actually sung) and Seddit 1.4


In my last post I gave lyrics to a parody of an Arrogant Worms song about the James Webb Space Telescope, and an update to my text-to-speech focussed Reddit client Seddit. I also said two things that turned out to be false:

  • Joey and I will probably sing this parody, but it will take more mixing and video editing than our usual songs.
  • This completes all the major features I have planned the app — I have other ideas for improvement, but I don’t think they’re essential. I’m hoping that the next update will be simply to remove the text saying I’m looking for a job.

Well, the other night Joey asked if I wanted to sing the song, and I said, “Okay! I should change into a more space-related shirt first” and then Joey produced two James Webb Space Telescope T-shirts out of nowhere, having secretly ordered them previously. So we changed into the shirts, and then we sang it, directly into a camera together, with no warmup or practice, and Joey trimmed the ends and put the video on YouTube. I had thought we’d sing our separate parts, get them perfect, then mix them, and make a video with some relevant educational images. Instead, here’s an imperfect but pretty good recording already!

I know where I made a mistake, but I’m not going to hang a lampshade on it so you’ll notice.

As for Seddit, well, not only did I not get the job I was hoping for when I wrote that, I also decided to update the app to use the new Liquid Glass design language that came out with iOS and macOS 26. I found and fixed a few other issues along the way. Here are the changes in Seddit 1.4:

  • Features
    • Added support for liquid glass appearance in iOS/macOS 26
    • Moved playback controls to a liquid glass overlay so you can see more content around the edges
  • Bug fixes
    • Made sure compliments purchased on the Support Seddit screen are always shown in the same order
    • Made the Voices Settings screen on macOS show which voices are Enhanced or Premium (I also filed bug FB20362911 with Apple about this, because there’s some system behaviour that’s inconsistent between iOS and macOS)
    • Fixed an issue introduced in Seddit 1.2 whereby posts whose comments are not all read would be shown as read instead of partly read

You can get the latest version for Mac, iPhone, or iPad on the relevant App Store.

On the subject of songs and liquid glass, check out this song by James Dempsey about liquid glass:

Thanks to Seattle Xcoders, I was lucky enough to have seen the live debut of this, and another performance of it, which I recorded but don’t have permission to share yet.

I haven’t actually had any legibility issues with liquid glass though — and if I did, I know I could always turn on Reduce Transparency.

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So I leave my bags behind (Galilee Song parody, now actually sung!) and another new version of Seddit


Hey look, Joey Marianer sang the parody song lyrics from my last post! Check there for the lyrics and the aviation incidents referenced.

There are some more song parody lyrics, but first, a word from my sponsor: me. Just like last time, I’ve released a new version of Seddit, my text-to-speech-focussed Reddit client for macOS and iOS. This has a feature I’ve wanted to add for a while — the possibility to select multiple voices, and read each user’s posts and comments in a different one. The variety makes it easier to keep paying attention when listening for a long time, and having each user consistently use the same voice should make it easier to follow conversations.

I made some other changes in this version too. Here’s a full list of them:

Features

  • Added the possibility to have each user’s posts and comments spoken in a different voice
  • Added settings for whether to read out the subreddit name, and date and time for each post.
  • Added the option to load no comments — this was for Joey, who wanted to try listening to short story subreddits while obeying the “don’t read the comments” rule of the internet.

Bug fixes

  • Fixed a bug whereby turning off the ‘Say “Link” instead of reading out URLs’ setting would not work
  • Fixed a bug where comments that weren’t loaded would be read as “comment by unknown user” Comments that aren’t loaded due to the comment depth settings are also no longer displayed.
  • Fixed a potential crash when opening the app if posts had been deleted on another device

On the subject of text-to-speech, nine or ten years ago I read a book and a bunch of papers on speech synthesis in order to write a term paper for my Web Development for Linguistics degree. The term paper was longer than the text of my thesis, because my thesis also included source code for a web site and a Mac app. Anyway, from this book I learnt about PSOLA (Pitch Synchronous Overlap and Add) which is used to change the pitch and duration of sounds for text-to-speech, as one might do to change prosody, or create a robot choir.

Newer voices don’t use PSOLA so much, as (to put it simply) they have more samples of actual speech in different situations, so they don’t need to modify samples for the sake of prosody. Note, this is ‘newer voices’ as of a decade or two ago; I don’t know whether the latest crop of ML-based voices do things the same way. Anyway, I assume this is why the newer macOS voices don’t support the TUNE format I used for my robot choir.

At the time, I wrote an utterly silly partial parody of Lola, by The Kinks, about PSOLA. I thought maybe I’d finish it or maybe even make it less silly[why?], but I never did, and now I don’t remember enough about how PSOLA works to fully understand what I originally wrote. So here is that draft. It really doesn’t scan, but I hope it doesn’t scan in amusing ways:

I was trying to synthesise some prosody,
but my source and filter were mixed up just like granola
G-R-A-N-O-L-A, granola.

So I found a new way to make it sound rad
It’s called pitch-synchronous overlap and add, that is PSOLA
P-S-O-L-A PSOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA.

Well I didn’t want to sound like a smallpox blight
So I really took care with my to get my epochs right
for PSOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA.

If you’re not dumb then you’ll soon understand
How I speak like a woman then sound like a man
It’s P-SOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA. Pso-pso-pso-P-SOLA.

[It doesn’t look like I wrote anything for the bridge (is that a bridge?) of the song, so just pretend it keeps going roughly like before]

It was used to make synthesized speech sound natural
But now there’s some super-sized features that fill that role-uh
R-O-L-E hyphen U-H role-uh

So that’s my guess if you’re wondering why r-
ecent voices don’t sing in my robot choir:
No PSOLA.

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Sailing off into the sunset toward America


As mentioned previously, I have an idea for a music video I’d like to make about my move to the US. But before I make that, I wanted to publish some of the video I took on the trip, in a fairly raw and unedited way, just to get it out there. I already published hours of 4K video from the ship leaving Hamburg, leaving Southampton, and arriving in New York City, recorded with my Sony ZV1 camera on a tripod.

Well, it was time to put together whatever random video I took with my iPhone. And I was just going to stick it all in a video with fades between clips, but there really wasn’t much going on in terms of sound — it needed music. And of course if there was going to be music, I’d better edit the footage a bit more to fit in with the music. So I ended up making something of an impromptu music video. Probably the coolest part (other than the music) is the sunset I recorded from the front of the ship one evening.

The song is ‘America’ by K’s Choice, as covered by my friend Joseph Camann when I requested it on his Patreon. Joseph is a multifaceted and multitalented individual who is also known as Chromatic Verse (mostly for visual art) CamannWordsmith (mostly for writing) and Joseph and the Bear Hat (for song covers.) It is unclear which parts the bear hat played in this cover.

I initially thought that the song ‘America’ would work better for the road trip across America than the trip across the pond, so I spent some time trying to find something else for this one… but come on, ‘America’ has a line about the sun rising and falling, and most of the video is a sunset. How could I not? Also there’s the double bonus of publicising both my friend Joseph and also one of my favourite bands, K’s Choice.

A day or so after we got to NYC, we visited MoMath, and I recently realised that while I’d put up video of Joey Marianer riding a square-wheeled tricycle there, I had forgotten to edit the other video I took of Joey at MoMath. Here’s Joey changing some benches from a triangle shape to a square and back, set to one of the free jingles that comes with Final Cut Pro:

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for a video of whatever I recorded on my phone during our ensuing road trip across the US, which I will inevitably spend more than the expected amount of effort on!

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The “The Captain’s Wife’s Lament” Lament, and Seven Bridges (of Königsberg) Road


About a week ago, me hearty Joey Marianer recorded three songs (two of which I wrote) while I slept! I meant to post about them on Talk Like a Pirate Day, but ended up not being home all day. Nonetheless, I’ll start with the pirate shanty. This might not make much sense to you if you’re not familiar with Paul and Storm; it’s a parody of one of their songs, about the lengthy live performances of another of their songs, which would be less than three minutes if they had a few other singers keeping them in line.

Storm DiCostanzo, please sing, and sing faster!
You’re not going to get any younger, you know.
Hey, Paul Sabourin, we’re growing impatient,
And you’ve still got most of the song left to go,
so come on Storm, spit it out.

I curse the day that these guys ever wrote this —
a joke about seamen that’s not hard to get.
How could I know that their seed would get into
my hair and my craw and two thirds of the set

Now three lines in, and I arrr with the masses,
Dejected, excited, and counting to pi.
And I have to admit, if you’d ask to continue
my bladder says ‘no’ but my mouth says ‘aye-aye!’

Why does every new verse of your song
Keep taking you so goddamn long?

Storm DiCostanzo, please sing, and sing faster!
Enough with the jokes that we don’t understand.
I need to pee and it’s no longer funny.
Yes, that’s your R Kelly goddamn cover band.
So come on Paul, spit it out.

Eighty-six seconds for all Lehrer’s Elements,
One Week’s three minutes and Yesterday’s two.
Cohen wrote hundreds of draft Hallelujahs
but won’t subject crowds to much more than a few.
You’re not our bitches, you’re not the CD,
and we don’t mean to tell you you do your job wrong,
but please bear in mind, in the time that you’ve had
Mister Boggia churned out thirty-five Beatles songs. [actually 25]
And if you keep singing so slow,
you’ll hold up the closing band’s show!

[extract from Nobody Loves You Like Me, by Paul and Storm’s usual closing band, Jonathan Coulton]
Here at the bar who cares what I do
I’m all alone but I’m drinking for two
Drowning the man that I used to be
Nobody loves you like me

Hey, Paul Sabourin, please sing, and sing faster,
though we won’t stop arrring till long past the show.
Crap out the verses, and Storm, while he’s at it,
your G-string is tuned half a Boggia too low.
So come, yes come…

Hey Paul and Storm, please just sing, and sing faster
Don’t hold back your seamen, please spit it all out.

Mister Boggia is Jim Boggia, who is known not only for his original songs and Beatles covers, but also for having perfect pitch and being very good at tuning. The ‘Boggia’ mentioned at the end is a unit of measurement defined on JoCo Cruise 2015 as “the smallest unit of tuning perceptible only to Jim Boggia”.

The other song of mine that Joey sang is Seven Bridges (of Königsberg) Road, which I mentioned in my last post:

Joey sang it based on Steve Young’s original version, rather than the Jonathan Coulton, Paul and Storm, and Sara Watkins version that I’m familiar with. Joey is wearing a T-shirt printed with the cover of my poetry album Wake Up Gasping. The album cover is by CamannWordsmith, who makes several of the major art food groups.

The other song Joey recorded that night was a parody of ‘You’ll be back’ from the musical Hamilton, from the perspective of GlaDOS from the game Portal. It was written by Brian Young, whom I knew from the olden days of the JoCo forums (which I am surprised to see are still up), and we both know from the JoCo Cruise.

The wardrobe and impetus to learn the tune was provided by our friend Chella Quint (who is usually more into menarche than monarchy) for an unrelated project which will forever be a mystery to you, but you should check out her work on menstruation (which should not be a mystery) because it’s bloody good.

That’s all for now, but Joey is working on some incredible cover versions of songs which I look forward to sharing.

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Joey sang some more parody lyrics I wrote, and another Hallelujah


Joey Marianer (to whom, and I cannot stress this enough, I am 💖married❣️) was asked to sing some computer-related songs at a company all-hands meeting, and chose The Bad Coder’s Favourite Things (one of several parodies I’ve written of ‘My Favourite Things’) as one of them. It’s the third one, after Joey’s own ‘Inbox Zero’ (a new addition to our growing list of Hallelujah parodies) and Les Barker’s ‘Reinstalling Windows’ (a parody of ‘When I’m Cleaning Windows’.)

Enjoy!

In other news, we’ll be at MathsJam Annual Gathering in November, which will be a hybrid in-person (in the UK) and virtual event this year. If you like maths, or if you think you don’t like maths but want to find out why people do, or even if you just like parody songs about maths, and the time zone and/or location work for you, I highly recommend joining.

Also, surprise! I thought I’d uploaded all my JoCo Cruise 2022 footage, but I’d somehow missed the Monday concert, with Jim Boggia and Paul and Storm. You can watch it as a single video or a playlist of songs. This means I’ve uploaded more than 22 hours from that cruise, all-up.

And, double surprise (which I of course remembered a minute after publishing this post) Joseph Camann made a musical version of my performance of ‘The Duel‘ on JoCo (virtual) Cruise 2021. I love it!

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Getting Sick in the World of Health — Down the Rabbit Hole


This weekend my friend Rob Lambert asked me to lend my vocal stylings to an animation he was making about his experience of suddenly getting sick. While my vocals are not nearly as stylish as his, I did indeed record my part — some scripted by Rob, some my own reactions to what he had to say. I think it turned out great; check it out!

I think this video is a good reminder of the second point in my Accessibility is for Everyone article. Learn to notice, appreciate, and contribute to the rabbit hole climbing harnesses around you before you need them.

If you want to see more from Rob, check out his LinkedIn or subscribe to his YouTube channel, which also has some cool CERN stuff. On the subject of LinkedIn, here’s mine! I’m currently looking for full-time or freelance work, and I’d love to work on something related to accessibility, or any of the other things I’ve enthused about or experimented with on this blog.

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That time Steve Wozniak taught me to Segway and then played Tetris and pranks through a concert


A few weeks ago I posted a video of myself talking about the time Steve Wozniak gave me a laptop, and I said:

A few years later, I met Woz, had pizza and learnt to Segway with him, and watched him play Tetris and pranks all through a concert of The Dead, but that will probably be a different 18-minute video.

Well, last week I indeed recorded an 18-minute video about the time I met Woz; the raw video was coincidentally imported into Photos at the same minute of the day as the previous one, and was one second longer than it.

The final video, with turning the camera on and off trimmed out, is two seconds longer than the previous one.

The background is a little blurry, but in the first take the entire picture was blurry, so in comparison, a little artful background blur is fine.

The short version: I met a friend of Woz by complaining by email that the lights were turned off in Woz’s office, and then met that friend in San Francisco when I went there for WWDC 2004. We met Woz, who had flashing lights in his teeth, at a pizza restaurant, and then went to a concert, where we rode Segways and Woz confused people by flashing tooth lights and lasers at them while playing Tetris.

Here’s a playlist with both of my Woz stories. Perhaps this will be the start of a series of 18-minute videos about my ridiculous life, or perhaps not. I don’t have any more Woz stories, but I do have more stories.

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That time Steve Wozniak bought me a laptop


People seem to enjoy hearing this story, and Woz’s 70th birthday seems like a good occasion to tell it to more people. I in a lot of details of varying relevance (and was looking down at notes on my iPad a bit to keep track of them), because it my video and I may as well tell it my own way. But if you don’t have eighteen minutes to spare, there’s a short version in the next paragraph (to avoid spoilers.)

The short version: My then-boyfriend left my PowerBook in a phone booth, the PowerBook was held for ransom and not recovered, and meanwhile my sister emailed the Woz (who knew of me from having called me on my birthday half a year earlier) and offered to buy me a replacement.

A few years later, I met Woz, had pizza and learnt to Segway with him, and watched him play Tetris and pranks all through a concert of The Dead, but that will probably be a different 18-minute video.

If you think my life is ridiculous, well, you’re right, but also, you should see Steve Wozniak’s life! (His autobiography, iWoz, would be a great book to read to a cool kid at bedtime.) And check out the events, challenges, and fundraising going on at wozbday.com.

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Some Statistics About My Ridiculous YouTube Channel


I’ve developed a bit of a habit of recording entire concerts of musicians who don’t mindGraph their concerts being recorded, splitting them into individual songs, and uploading them to my YouTube channel with copious notes in the video descriptions. My first upload was, appropriately, the band featured in the first image on the web, Les Horribles Cernettes, singing Big Bang. I first got enough camera batteries and SD cards to record entire concerts for the K’s Choice comeback concert in Dranouter in 2009, though the playlist is short, so perhaps I didn’t actually record that entire show.

I’ve also developed a habit of going on a week-long cruise packed with about 25 days of entertainment every year, and recording 30 or so hours of that entertainment. So my YouTube channel is getting a bit ridiculous. I currently have 2723 publicly-visible videos on my channel, and 2906 total videos — the other 183 are private or unlisted, either because they’re open mic or karaoke performances from JoCo Cruise and I’m not sure I have the performer’s permission to post them, or they’re official performances that we were requested to only share with people that were there.

I’ve been wondering just how much I’ve written in my sometimes-overly-verbose video descriptions over the years, and the only way I found to download all that metadata was using the YouTube API. I tested it out by putting a URL with the right parameters in a web browser, but it’s only possible to get the data for up to 50 videos at a time, so it was clear I’d have to write some code to do it.

Late Friday evening, after uploading my last video from JoCo Cruise 2020, I set to writing a document-based CoreData SwiftUI app to download all that data. I know my way around CoreData and downloading and parsing JSON in Swift, but haven’t had many chances to try out SwiftUI, so this was a way I could quickly get the information I wanted while still learning something. I decided to only get the public videos, since that doesn’t need authentication (indeed, I had already tried it in a web browser), so it’s a bit simpler.

By about 3a.m, I had all the data, stored in a document and displayed rather simply in my app. Perhaps that was my cue to go to bed, but I was too curious. So I quickly added some code to export all the video descriptions in one text file and all the video titles in another. I had planned to count the words within the app (using enumerateSubstrings byWords or enumerateTags, of course… we’re not savages! As a linguist I know that counting words is more complicated than counting spaces.) but it was getting late and I knew I wanted the full text for other things, so I just exported the text and opened it in Pages. The verdict:

  • 2723 public videos
  • 33 465 words in video titles
  • 303 839 words in video descriptions

The next day, I wanted to create some word clouds with the data, but all the URLs in the video descriptions got in the way. I quite often link to the playlists each video is in, related videos, and where to purchase the songs being played. I added some code to remove links (using stringByReplacingMatches with an NSDataDetector with the link type, because we’re not savages! As an internet person I know that links are more complicated than any regex I’d write.) I found that Pages counts URLs as having quite a few words, so the final count is:

  • At least 4 633 links (this is just by searching for ‘http’ in the original video descriptions, like a savage, so might not match every link)
  • 267 567 words in video descriptions, once links are removed. I could almost win NaNoWriMo with the links from my video descriptions alone.

I then had my app export the publish dates of all the videos, imported them into Numbers, and created the histogram shown above. I actually learnt quite a bit about Numbers in the process, so that’s a bonus. I’ll probably do a deeper dive into the upload frequency later, with word clouds broken down by time period to show what I was uploading at any given time, but for now, here are some facts:

  • The single day when I uploaded the most publicly-visible videos was 25 December 2017, when I uploaded 34 videos — a K’s Choice concert and a Burning Hell concert in Vienna earlier that year. I’m guessing I didn’t have company for Christmas, so I just got to hang out at home watching concerts and eating inexpertly-roasted potatoes.
  • The month when I uploaded the most publicly-visible videos was April 2019. This makes sense, as I was unemployed at the time, and got back from JoCo Cruise on March 26.

So, onto the word clouds I cleaned up that data to make. I created them on wordclouds.com, because wordle has rather stagnated. Most of my video titles mention the artist name and concert venue and date, so some words end up being extremely common. This huge variation in word frequency meant I had to reduce the size from 0 all the way to -79 in order for it to be able to fit common words such as ‘Jonathan’. Wordclouds lets you choose the shape of the final word cloud, but at that scale, it ends up as the intersection of a diamond with the chosen shape, so the shape doesn’t end up being recognisable. Here it is, then, as a diamond:

titles

The video descriptions didn’t have as much variation between word frequencies, so I only had to reduce it to size -45 to fit both ‘Jonathan’ and ‘Coulton’ in it. I still don’t know whether there are other common words that didn’t fit, because the site doesn’t show that information until it’s finished, and there are so many different words that it’s still busy drawing the word cloud. Luckily I could download an image of it before that finished. Anyway, at size -45, the ‘camera’ shape I’d hoped to use isn’t quite recognisable, but I did manage a decent ‘YouTube play button’ word cloud:

descriptions

One weird fact I noticed is that I mention Paul Sabourin of Paul and Storm in video descriptions about 40% more often than I mention Storm DiCostanzo, and I include his last name three times as much. To rectify this, I wrote a song mentioning Storm’s last name a lot, to be sung to the tune of ‘Hallelujah’, because that’s what we do:

We’d like to sing of Paul and Storm.
It’s Paul we love to see perform.
The other member’s name’s the one that scans though.
So here’s to he who plays guitar;
let’s all sing out a thankful ‘Arrr!’
for Paul and Storm’s own Greg “Storm” DiCostanzo!
DiCostanzo, DiCostanzo, DiCostanzo, DiCostanzo

I’m sure I’ll download more data from the API, do some more analysis, and mine the text for haiku (if Haiku Detector even still runs — it’s been a while since I touched it!) later, but that’s enough for now!

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My Performances on JoCo Cruise 2019


I’ve been going to JoCo Cruise since it started in 2011, and this year I finally had the nerve and organisation (okay, so actually Phil organised it) to take part in running a shadow event. What with this and MarsCon, apparently 2019 is my year for getting on stage at events I’ve long frequented.

There are many official celebrity guests on JoCo Cruise, but anyone can request a space and time to host their own events, whether concerts, crafting workshops, jam sessions, locksports seminars, hydrating face mask parties, PGP signing parties, space dog slideshows, scotch or foreign snack tastings, meetups of people who are various flavours of non-heteronormative, religious, merfolk, impaired, purple-haired, or scientists, or just a session of yelling at the moon. All of these things are real events that happened this year. This ‘shadow’ cruise, as it’s called, took up 292 of the 605 hours of programming.

My little corner of that was Angela Brett & Phil Conrad with Friends, later referred to as the ‘Hastily Assembled Entertainment Taco’, after the official event ‘Hastily Assembled Entertainment Burrito‘. The friends involved included Randy Parcel on vocals, Ryan Nathan on drums, Joey Marianer on vocals and ukulele, and Jeff Kahan on oboe. You can see the full show in the YouTube playlist below, or read on as I self-indulgently embed the specific parts I had a hand in, along with a few others from the open mic night.

Read the rest of this entry »

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